I have been feeling very contemplative the last few days, which is juxtaposed with the busy-ness of my days. Every time I have a few minutes to myself I find myself slipping into deep reverie. Ponderous... that's another good word for it.
My kids and I were frazzled the other day and we all argued. One of the things my daughter said in the heat of the moment was that instead of spending time with her "you're always writing letters". That definitely made me stop and think. Had I been robbing her of time in order to keep up with my letter pile? The fact that she said it no doubt means it is true and I need to hear it.
It's not easy to hear though. Like any parent, I like to think I'm pretty good at taking care of my kids' needs... so her criticism stung a bit. Also, I'm enjoying my new hobby so much that I really don't want to curtail my letter-writing.
I think the real answer here is better organisation on my part. If I were better organised, I could use the hour or two after the kids go to bed to focus on letter-writing rather than let it bleed into all the other areas of my day.
Perhaps it's a natural readjustment. I have literally gone from writing and receiving maybe one or two letters a month, to writing and receiving 30+ a month... and that's in a pretty short time-frame. There are bound to be some rough edges as I figure out how it's all going to work, so I'm not going to give myself too hard a time about this. But I am going to heed what my daughter said, get better organised, and make sure she's getting her needs met, too.
Working out how it all fits together,
Love from Kaz
Kaz-
ReplyDeleteThat is hard to hear. I have a teenager, so the less time I spend with him, in his mind, the better. I'm sure that, like me, you're always interrupting letters to speak with them, hug them, cook them something, etc.
I have this push-pull as well. Dammit, I'm a human being. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't insist on going out with the boys to watch the game. I have a few hobbies that I like to persue, and I like to think that I have the right to check out now and then to pursue them.
Then again, they're family.
Good luck at finding the balance. I'm still working on it.
Kaz--interesting post. I am in the same boat with Michael (above) with a teenager who is not interested in hanging out with me. But I recall all my previous years of motherhood, and I think what's always needed is balance. Kids need our time and they won't want it later but parents need a life too - viola -the balancing act. But sometimes the balance shifts in one direction or another too. Life is fluid and changes all the time. You'll get it right.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement guys. There have been other changes happening as well lately so things are a bit akimbo... I'm hopeful we will work it out though.
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